Note from January 3, 2023, 1:00 PM

Today I cleaned the bathroom. I thoroughly scrubbed the sink, bathtub, all of Ida’s toys, the cosmetic bottles, and the little rug with vinegar. I’m proud of it, because I have COVID and I don’t feel like doing anything, especially taking care of the house. It’s not necessarily that I don’t have the strength, I just don’t feel like it. I’m glad I cleaned, because it gives me some satisfaction. On top of that, I did it with Młoda around. Basically, it’s not especially difficult, but in my head it’s much easier to do one thing at a time, so either clean the bathroom or spend time with Młoda. Doing something with her around gives me extra satisfaction, though, because it’s a bit like a challenge, I’m showing myself that I’m able to do something. I’ve been getting used to this since Młoda came into the world, and I’ll probably have to get used to a lot of things all over again when the Baby arrives.

Another plus of cleaning is that I feel better when I’m doing something instead of being lazy, although I often feel like I need a lot of that trashy internet time just to somehow get through the day. It’s just that when I’m busy with something useful, I feel like the time spent that way makes more sense.

The worse part is that often when I start doing more, I also get more irritated, just in general, throughout the day, for various reasons. That’s something to bring up in therapy.

This entry is pretty incoherent, but that’s because it’s late, and on top of that I think worse when I’m sick. But that’s okay :)