Note from March 20, 2023, 1:00 PM

It’s starting, or basically it isn’t starting, so I’m sitting in the waiting room on the third floor of Matka Polka and listening to J.’s litany as she confesses all her tests at the maternity ward registration desk. At least this time I can be with her. I’m a bit sad that labor hasn’t started on its own by now, but induction hasn’t started yet either, so maybe something will happen. For now, all I can do is wait.

Days and moments like this, inevitable, final ones, bring out reflection and a lot of anxiety in me: what should I be doing and thinking about so I don’t later regret wasted time? Maybe I should focus more on being present with J.? Maybe I’m overdoing it?